In the immortal words of Britney Spears, “Oops, I did it again.” Yes, folks. I was wild and crazy. I threw caution to the wind. Tried to relive my younger days. Was irresponsible, thoughtless, and carefree.

I stayed up past midnight on New Year’s Eve. The horror.

A recent article on Facebook stated that people over forty should only work three days a week. Wrong study. People over forty have no right staying up past eight-thirty. My teenagers don’t need all the curfews. Grandma Moses over here does. I woke up this morning and honestly thought I had skated in a roller derby or had the flu. It HURT.

Now, in case you have visions of bars, alcohol, and wild partying, let me clue you in. Most of my readers (at this point, God bless them) are people I know. So, to you, Facebook friends (and Mom… yes, I see you!), some of the things I say when I write will seem redundant. However, this blog is “out there” (no dumb blonde jokes), and I must divulge personal details accordingly.

The curly-headed baby in the picture is mine. I also have a two teenagers in high school, one of which is getting ready to graduate. Do the math. I’m not a spring chicken. We were graciously invited to a couple’s home for New Year’s and my mother-in-law kept little one. The company was good, and we go on a “date” twice a year (Walmart is considered a date), so we made it count and stayed out past “our bedtime”. As far as the Britney Spears reference, the other time I stayed up past midnight was Christmas Eve when Santa needed my help. Wink wink.

On occasion, little one gets sick. Bless it. I absolutely would get the moon for any of my children, but lack of sleep isn’t my forte (that college degree is kicking it!). I posted back in September when he was sick how this affects me. In no way is it his fault. In my dad’s wise words, “It is what it is.” So here is some of what happens (to people over forty) when babies don’t sleep.

Katie’s Top Ten:Losing Sleep and Sick Babies (not as funny as Dave Letterman’s top ten and written by a middle-aged mother)

#10. The Devil has a name and it is hand, foot, and mouth disease (picture the flu meets chicken pox).

#9. My baby is louder than your baby….na na nee na na (sticking out my tongue).

#8. Having a sick child will test your marriage. We’re holding at a D-.

#7. Ain’t no amount of Advil or Tylenol that can solve this problem.

#6. After several days, 2:30, 3:30, and 4:30 am are basically the same.

#5. Aircraft carrier headphones sometimes help to muffle baby’s cries. Sometimes.

#4. I won’t sleep through the night until little one is married and has a doctorate degree. The lady next door better not wake me unless she wants to see the back side of my cane.

#3. Babies hear tiptoeing…. you know, like dogs hear dog whistles.

#2. The average mother loses five brain cells a day. Sleep-deprived mothers just lose their minds.

And the number one fact about losing sleep and sick babies…..

I can’t remember. I’m going to bed. It’s past my bedtime.