“I can’t do it anymore.” I started to think as a feeling of dread washed over me. The situation(s) at hand hadn’t changed for the better. Actually, they were somewhere in between being at an impasse to possibly worse. Every time I thought something was about to change for the better, I was dealt another blow. “I can’t do this anymore.” was the thought that ran through my mind again. My stomach began to turn and my heart skipped. “What do I do? I’ve done everything humanly possible. Why isn’t this getting better?” I hadn’t prayed at this point of my helplessness.
Pray. This wasn’t lost on me. I HAD prayed. One million times. Maybe more. Obviously, nothing on the part of my human striving was solving anything. So pray, I did. One step at a time. One day at a time. I will keep going. I have to. You do, too. When the situation at hand seems impossible, keep praying. It’s not the only thing to do. It’s the best thing to do. When the fear washes over you and makes you want to cower and hide, be brave. Bravery is the choice to act in the presence of fear and regardless of that fear. When you lose hope, be thankful for the small things… a cup of coffee, a flower, the sound of your child laughing. Thankfulness begets hope.
I’m not going to tell you it’s easy or feign spiritual deepness here. But I will say that God is bigger than any circumstances you are facing. He hears your prayers, your questions, and even your “why’s.” Growing pains hurt. Profound, huh? Ever work out? You’re actually tearing down muscles just so the fibers can build themselves up even stronger than before. Hard circumstances are much the same. It’s going to hurt. It may even break you down sometimes. There’s no way around that. You have to feel the pain to develop the strength. But you don’t have to do it alone. Pray. Keep praying. And when your stomach lurches and the tears start…. pray even more.