I love impatiens because I can’t kill them.😂 My toddler REALLY wanted to touch this dragonfly. Beauty is all around us. I believe that’s one way we can see God’s love.. especially when our lives are hectic. Flowers are not in a hurry to grow, so we must remember to be patient with ourselves.
Didn’t I JUST write the other day? Oh, well. Read it and weep.😂 Y’all better be glad I read my own writing because this was originally titled “Here We Ho Again”. Gasp! I thought this girl was a Christian. My phone’s autocorrect is very interesting at times. I’m appalled! Yeah… y’all know it’s funny. Hey, I also think it’s okay to seek therapy AND my kids (now just the baby) dressed up in “non-evil” costumes at Halloween. Somebody stage an intervention Just kidding. Humor is good and necessary, especially if we are forced to “adult.” I have to write, though. If it’s just for my own benefit, I have to do it.
I just keep learning “stuff” from my kiddos. Baby boy was lying next to me yesterday morning. He kept say, “I wuv you, Mommy.” I just felt completely overwhelmed. It was like watching water filling up a pitcher except that I felt this love filling up my heart. It’s weird because I always think I can’t love my children anymore than I do… but it just keeps growing and growing.
A picture of God’s love for me just came to the front of my mind as I was lying there with the baby. “If I feel this much love for my children, how can it be that God loves me this much?” It occurred to me that He feels this way about ME. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He has given me a purpose. I am special to the Creator of the universe. I just couldn’t fathom in that moment that God could love me more than I love my children. And, what’s more, we ALL are special. Not one of us escapes his notice.
Not long ago, I wrote about some bad weather we had at a ballgame. I had so much anxiety about it (the weather WAS really bad). We took shelter in the concession stand (that didn’t help my feelings at ALL 😂). My daughter initially didn’t come in with me. When I couldn’t find her, I panicked. I was beside myself because it literally looked like a tornado was coming and I needed to know she was okay. She was with my husband, so she was fine. Although maybe I shouldn’t have overreacted, my motivation was out of my love for her.
When I think about my absolute love and devotion to keeping my three children safe, it occurs to me that God had to watch His only son die for something which He wasn’t guilty. I’ve often wondered if Mary held her precious baby boy and knew He would suffer… I can’t imagine. I would do whatever it took to prevent my three children from hurting. Why does God sometimes allow us to hurt?
I’ve been walking through a challenging time lately. It seems like as soon as life starts settling down something else comes along (or 100 things) that cause me stress, worry, and pain. How irritating (and sad and frustrating, right?) But as I was walking outside the other day, I looked at some flowers we have to attract butterflies. Lantana, I believe they are called. This lantana bush is HUGE. My husband cut it back to almost nothing a couple of years ago. I actually thought it was “done for”!
It occurred to me that the bush is actually so large it needs to be cut back AGAIN. His cutting it the first time seemed to actually encourage its growth. And that’s part of the plan, I truly believe. God loves us too much to allow us to just remain stagnant. We can either wither and die or we can bloom. Pray. Be with people that have your best interests at heart. Find something that you enjoy doing. But don’t give up. Don’t get discouraged. Grow. Whether it’s finding a new purpose in life, a new hobby, new friends… take one little step. That’s growth. You are loved by a creator that has a plan for you. . I know I am… a little boy reminds me every day.