It’s the first day of summer break, and I’m watching Frazier. I RARELY watch TV, so this is a totally selfish move on my part.๐
Before I write anything else, I’m very sorry for ending my title with a preposition. Let’s call it “writer’s liberties .” So now that’s out of the way. No, I’m not a nerd. I REALLY love the English language. I guess that’s one thing “I’m good for.”
I feel as if my writing has been flat lately. I don’t have a shortage of subjects about which to write, though. If you can internalize the feeling you get after coming home from vacation and looking at your laundry, unpaid bills, and getting back to “real life”, it’s a similar feeling. Or the feeling you have after planning for months for Christmas or a wedding and then it’s over so quickly. I’m just drained. My planner says “You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup.” But I have….for months.
Last night, several inhabitants of my home (i.e. my family) commented that I forgot to get milk. They were absolutely correct. I have no excuse. I forgot. My family wasn’t being mean.They were stating a fact. However, this is out of ordinary for me. It’s even an item on my “favorites” list. I shop online by using grocery pickup. It’s literally the best thing “since sliced bread.”
It basically comes down to the fact that I ordered groceries during a very short break at work. This happened to also be the day before school got out for summer. I’m a teacher, so no explanation should be necessary…. but you know one is coming. I’ve said it before. The month of May for teachers is like working Black Friday in retail except that it lasts for a month. Combine that with having a family, and it almost feels impossible to get everything done. My May calendar looks like the pen in my hand exploded. Ordering milk wasn’t top priority.
I stood at the sink yesterday and looked at some flowers I bought for the baby’s teacher (she was on vacation so I’ll buy her more). It hit me that my needs and wants get pushed to the side. The loss of identity started to overwhelm me and I realized the juxtaposition of being so “needed” all the time, yet feeling overlooked at the same time. “What am I good for?” I thought. I don’t hear “thank you” or “good job.” I don’t have time to read or pick up piano again like I keep saying I will.
What am I good for? Let’s see.
I’m good for encouraging those talents that might have just been discovered (my daughter is an amazing painter).
I’m good for cheering from the stands (but not yelling at the umpires).
I’m good for praying for my family.
I’m good for being a good listener.
I’m good for a funny joke.
I’m good for being real.
I’m good for admitting my mistakes.
I’m good for keeping my family organized.
I’m good for not give up when that would be the easy thing to do.
I’ll bet you’re good at all these things and many more. Let’s try not to get lost in what we “think” others perceive us to be (moms, wives, breadwinners), and remember that we have so many qualities that make us who we are… individually. God made you, and that is good enough.