I am constantly amazed at what my children teach me unknowingly on their part. Even at the ripe old age of eighteen, my eldest college-bound son still gets my input on assignments and we have been working together on college applications and scholarship opportunities. My only daughter asks my opinion a little less as she has been opinionated herself since we brought her home from the hospital. However, she does talk to me about school and other things… which is really her own version of asking for help or advice. The baby obviously needs the the bulk of the attention/help/guidance at this point.

I get surprised and offended (just kidding😂) when people ASSUME (sorry, just did that for emphasis)…anyway, when people assume my two teenagers don’t need me as much anymore. I have also been the proud recipient of the phrase “Oh, it’s like the baby is an only child!”and let’s not forget the oft-spoken “You have two built-in babysitters”. My older two absolutely love my youngest, and they will watch him in a pinch. I had a horrible stomach virus one time and they took him down the street to a birthday party, fed him, and put him to bed. Good kids, those two. However, it is not their job to watch him or raise him. Their jobs are to go to school, make good choices, and be teenagers. I’m here to help them along this path.

The baby just learned how to say “help me”. It warms my heart and breaks it at the same time. When he says this, it implies that I am needed. The other implication is that he has a problem he cannot fix. Whether it is walking down the stairs outside, putting on a shoe, or getting some juice, he has a “problem” that I can fix. This is the heartwarming part. The heartbreak is in what I cannot fix….broken friendships, hurt feelings, self-doubt, and fallen leaves? Back to what I said in the beginning about my children teaching me…. today baby boy taught me a lesson about trying to fix the unfixable.

Baby boy loves leaves. He puts them in his wagon and carries them around. Today he picked up a leaf and kept saying “help me”. I didn’t quite understand until he walked over to a tall oak tree and was lifting up the leaf to the tree. He then reached up and tried to give me the leaf. God bless him, he thought I could “fix” the tree by reattaching the leaf. He didn’t understand why this wasn’t a reasonable solution and I couldn’t explain it to him either. Because I’m alive and breathing, I have some “problems” that for the life of me, I. Can’t. Fix. You do, too, don’t you? The Erin Condren planner hasn’t helped me fix them. The tears on my pillow haven’t fixed them. Neither has prayer. That’s right. I said it. Even with prayer, the problems haven’t resolved. So frustrating!

But praying has gotten me through what seems unfixable. My little one showed me that I can want to fix something so badly that is out of my control and my striving to fix it just like he was striving with the leaf….. well, it doesn’t fix anything. It only makes me tired. Frustrated. Hopeless. However, I can continue to pray and during the waiting I can say, “Lord, fix it.”

And He will. His way. His timing…… without my help.

One thought on “Lord, Fix It

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