Several years ago, a nice lady told me I seem to have it all together….. but no one lately has said this to me. I am fine with that. If I had it all together then I would be under pressure to keep it together and the cycle never ends, does it? How many times have you scrolled social media or just observed another woman at work or in the store and thought to yourself “She does it all, manages it all… has it all…her house is probably clean, her marriage is perfect, and her emotions stay in check (I am an emotional person, so I always think this).”
You would be mistaken.
See, you are only aware of your own Goliath. I can absolutely assure you she has one, too… and maybe several.
But she hides hers behind a glossy social media page.
She smiles and pretends her Goliath doesn’t exist. She lives in denial.
She cries out at night for God to fight her Goliath for her.
And maybe her army is bigger.
Maybe her Goliath is not as big as yours.
I faced my own Goliath last week. One has lots of conversations with God while sitting alone waiting on the radiologist to walk in. Admittedly, I have medical anxiety for personal reasons, but I think any woman would be hard-pressed not to be anxious in this situation. I do not make deals with God. However, I sat and prayed (and cried) that He would be with me whatever the case may be.
Everything turned out okay, but I realized that I seem to take two steps forward and three steps back anytime I am forced to face my anxiety. And this applies to everything in my life… whether it is working up the courage to write or just try to make conversation with a group of other women. My Goliath seems to follow me everywhere.
My Goliath. Anxiety.
Yours? Come on. You have one. And although you think “she” does not, you would be wrong.
Her Goliath might be a failing marriage that looks good on the outside….
The friends that turned their backs on her.
The devastating diagnosis.
Her empty arms in want of a child.
A wayward child.
Prayers that seem to stop at the ceiling.
And this is all the more reason to be kind. One never knows what battles are fought in private or how many tears break the quiet of night. Your Goliath is not unique. She has one, too. Maybe it is the same as yours. And even though she seems to have it together, looks can be deceiving. She may think you have it together, too.