PSA: These aren’t hash browns or fried fish. These are pancakes. I can bake. I can make homemade lasagna. My sweet tea is legendary. However, I can’t make pancakes from a mix (just add water and stir). These didn’t quite meet my expectations… nor those of my family (the fried fish reference came from my husband). The one on the right looks like a foot. My weekend didn’t meet my expectations, either. Did you ever get excited about something and it fell short? Yep. I get it.
Friday nights for me are usually a wash-up (wash-out?)…. whatever…I don’t do much on Friday nights. Little one didn’t sleep well so Saturday was a wash, too. Church was the best thing that happened today, and, let me tell you, I needed it. Little one and I went to Walmart and bought Valentines for his preschool friends later today, as well.
This week I didn’t exceed my expectations for myself. Have you ever just put your face in your hands and had a good cry? I did. It’s okay, though. I wiped my face and got on with it, so to speak. In church, the sermon was how God chose us even though we have nothing to offer in return. It occurred to me that my worth is not based on what I can do for others. I guess it shouldn’t be based upon my own unrealistic expectations of myself, either.
I’m going through a busy, fun, and sometimes heart wrenching time of life. There are circumstances I cannot control. The vision I have as to what my life should be versus what sometimes is doesn’t always match. Sometimes I feel like the most blessed person in the world. Sometimes I struggle. Most of the time it’s when I’m too hard on myself and expect to be everything for everyone. I feel guilty that the house isn’t perfect, the car is a mess, I don’t cook enough(or make ugly pancakes!). Most of all, I feel guilty when someone I care about hurts and I can’t fix it. But I can pray, I can be there, and I can love.
What are your expectations? A perfectly clean house? Healthy children? A happy marriage? Bills paid without worrying about the next paycheck? I wonder if we sometimes look at others and instead of “keeping up with the Jones’ “, we beat ourselves up because Suzy Q. seems to have her proverbial ducks in a row. We’re positive her house is sparkling clean (and her car). Her marriage is the best it’s ever been. Her kids are spiritual giants. Suzy has her problems, though. I PROMISE (she hides them well like most of us). Do YOUR best. Don’t give up. And know that sometimes your expectations of yourself are too much and give yourself some grace.
Now I’m going to make some tea. My pancakes don’t meet my expectations.😂